Can I Get Divorced If My Spouse Refuses? Connecticut Contested Divorce Guide

Yes, you can absolutely get divorced in Connecticut even if your spouse refuses to cooperate. Connecticut is a "no-fault" divorce state, which means you don't need your spouse's permission or agreement to end your marriage. Under Connecticut law, a court can grant a dissolution of marriage based on "irretrievable breakdown" regardless of whether one party objects. Your spouse cannot legally force you to stay married simply by refusing to participate in the process.

Understanding Contested Divorce in Connecticut

When your spouse refuses to cooperate with divorce proceedings, your case becomes what's legally known as a "contested divorce." This doesn't mean you can't get divorced—it simply means the process will follow a different path than an uncontested case where both parties agree. Connecticut courts handle contested divorces regularly, and the legal system has clear procedures to ensure you can move forward even when facing resistance.

Under C.G.S. § 46b-40, a marriage in Connecticut can only be dissolved by death, annulment, or a court decree. The statute specifically allows for dissolution based on irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, and this finding can be made even when only one spouse believes the marriage is over. The law recognizes that it takes two people to make a marriage work, but only one person's determination to end it for the court to grant a divorce.

The key difference between contested and uncontested divorce lies in how issues get resolved. In an uncontested divorce, spouses work together to reach agreements on property division, custody, and support. In a contested case, the court makes these decisions if the parties cannot agree. While this typically means a longer and more expensive process, it ensures that one spouse's refusal to cooperate cannot trap the other in an unwanted marriage.

How to Serve a Non-Cooperative Spouse

The divorce process begins when you file a complaint for dissolution and have your spouse properly served with the legal papers. Connecticut law under C.G.S. § 46b-45 requires that divorce proceedings start with service of a complaint and a blank appearance form. This formal notification ensures your spouse knows about the case and has an opportunity to respond—but their response (or lack thereof) doesn't determine whether the divorce can proceed.

If your spouse is avoiding service or hiding, Connecticut provides alternative methods to move forward. Under C.G.S. § 46b-46, when a defendant "resides out of or is absent from the state or the whereabouts of the defendant are unknown," a judge or court clerk can issue an "order of notice" allowing alternative service methods. This might include service by publication in a newspaper or other means the court deems reasonable. Practice Book Rule § 25-28 further clarifies that courts have broad discretion to craft notice procedures that fit your specific situation.

Once proper notice is given and proven to the court, you can proceed even without your spouse's active participation. The court will verify that your spouse actually received notice before moving forward with the case. If your spouse continues to ignore the proceedings after proper service, the case can proceed to judgment in their absence—though the court may require additional steps to ensure fairness.

What Happens When Your Spouse Won't Respond

When a properly served spouse fails to file an appearance or respond to the divorce complaint, the case doesn't simply stall. Connecticut's Practice Book Rule § 25-51 specifically addresses this situation, explaining that in dissolution cases where the defendant hasn't appeared, the plaintiff may proceed to judgment under the court's case management procedures. Unlike regular civil cases, divorce cases don't follow the standard default judgment rules—they have their own process designed to keep cases moving.

Your case will still go through Connecticut's Pathways case management system under Practice Book Rule § 25-50A. Even without your spouse's participation, you'll meet with a family relations counselor who will help determine the appropriate track for your case. Cases with non-participating spouses often get assigned to Track C (complex cases) because contested issues may require more court involvement to resolve.

The court will still need to make findings on all issues—property division, alimony, and if applicable, child custody and support—even if your spouse never shows up. You'll need to provide evidence and documentation to support your requests. Tools like Untangle's financial affidavit generation can help you organize the detailed financial information courts require, ensuring you're prepared to present a complete picture even when doing so alone.

The Timeline for Contested Divorce in Connecticut

Connecticut law establishes minimum waiting periods for divorce, but contested cases typically take longer than these minimums. Under C.G.S. § 46b-67, the court generally cannot proceed on a dissolution complaint until after the second day following the return date (the date by which the defendant must respond). If there's been a reconciliation attempt or the court has stayed proceedings, the waiting period extends to six months.

Factor	Uncontested Divorce	Contested Divorce
Minimum waiting period	~90 days from filing	~90 days from filing
Typical duration	3-6 months	6 months to 2+ years
Court appearances	1-2	Multiple hearings
Discovery required	Usually minimal	Often extensive
Trial	Rarely needed	Often necessary
Estimated cost	$1,000-$5,000	$10,000-$50,000+

The timeline for your specific case depends on several factors: how contested the issues are, whether children are involved, the complexity of your finances, and how backed up your local court's docket is. While waiting is frustrating when you're ready to move on, use this time productively by gathering documentation, organizing finances, and understanding your options. Untangle's task dashboard can help you systematically prepare the evidence you'll need.

Automatic Orders That Protect You During the Process

The moment your divorce complaint is served, automatic court orders take effect that protect both parties and any children. Under Practice Book Rule § 25-5, these orders remain in force throughout the case and provide important protections even when your spouse is being difficult or uncooperative.

For cases involving children, the automatic orders prevent either parent from permanently removing children from Connecticut without written consent or court approval. A parent who moves out must provide a mailing address within 48 hours. Both parents must assist children in having contact with the other parent. These protections exist specifically because contested cases can become contentious, and children need stability during the process.

Financial automatic orders prevent either spouse from hiding or dissipating marital assets. Neither party can transfer, encumber, or dispose of property except for ordinary living expenses or with court permission. Health and life insurance policies must be maintained. Retirement accounts cannot be modified. If your spouse violates these orders, you can bring the violation to the court's attention and seek enforcement—their non-cooperation with the divorce doesn't exempt them from following court rules.

Grounds for Divorce in Connecticut

Connecticut offers both no-fault and fault-based grounds for divorce, giving you options depending on your circumstances. Under C.G.S. § 46b-40(c), the court can grant dissolution based on irretrievable breakdown of the marriage—this is the no-fault option that doesn't require proving your spouse did anything wrong. You simply need to demonstrate that the marriage relationship has broken down with no reasonable prospect of reconciliation.

For contested cases, you might also consider fault-based grounds if applicable. Connecticut recognizes grounds including adultery, fraudulent contract, desertion for one year, seven years' absence, habitual intemperance (alcohol or drug abuse), intolerable cruelty, and conviction of an infamous crime involving a prison sentence. While proving fault requires more evidence, it can sometimes influence the court's decisions on property division or alimony.

In practice, most Connecticut divorces—even contested ones—proceed on no-fault grounds because they're simpler to prove. C.G.S. § 46b-51 explains that the court can find irretrievable breakdown when both parties stipulate to it or when "the court finds, after hearing the evidence, that there is no reasonable prospect of reconciliation." Your spouse's refusal to agree simply means you'll need a hearing where you testify about the state of your marriage rather than submitting a joint stipulation.

Steps to File for Divorce When Your Spouse Won't Cooperate

Filing for divorce against a non-cooperative spouse requires methodical preparation and attention to legal requirements. Here's the process you'll need to follow:

1. Confirm residency requirements - At least one spouse must have lived in Connecticut for 12 months before filing, or 12 months before the divorce is finalized if you moved to CT after marriage.
2. Prepare your complaint for dissolution - Your complaint must include the date and place of marriage, jurisdictional facts, information about any minor children, and the grounds for dissolution per Practice Book Rule § 25-2.
3. Complete required financial forms - You'll need a Financial Affidavit (Form JD-FM-006) detailing income, expenses, assets, and debts. If children are involved, prepare an Affidavit Concerning Children (Form JD-FM-164).
4. File with the Superior Court - Submit your complaint to the court in the judicial district where you or your spouse resides. Pay the filing fee (currently several hundred dollars, though fee waivers are available for those who qualify).
5. Arrange proper service - Have your spouse served through a state marshal or other authorized process server. If your spouse is avoiding service, file for alternative service under C.G.S. § 46b-46.
6. File proof of service - Submit the Summons (Form JD-FM-003) showing how and when your spouse was served.
7. Attend your case management conference - Meet with a family relations counselor to discuss resolution plans and get assigned to the appropriate case track.
8. Prepare for hearings and possibly trial - Gather evidence, organize financial documents, and prepare testimony to support your requests.

Untangle's automatic document generation can walk you through many of these steps, helping ensure you don't miss required forms or deadlines even without your spouse's cooperation.

When Your Spouse Is Hiding or Cannot Be Found

Sometimes a non-cooperative spouse takes non-cooperation to the extreme by disappearing entirely. Connecticut law anticipates this situation and provides pathways to proceed. Under C.G.S. § 46b-46, when your spouse's whereabouts are unknown, the court can authorize "such order of notice as such judge or clerk deems reasonable."

Typically, this means service by publication—placing a legal notice in a newspaper for a specified period. Practice Book Rule § 25-28 notes that published notices don't need to include the full automatic orders but must state that automatic orders have issued and can be viewed in the court file. You'll need to demonstrate to the court that you've made genuine efforts to locate your spouse before publication service is approved.

After publication service and proof of notice, the court can proceed if it finds your spouse actually received notice—or it may continue the case for additional notice attempts. Even if your spouse never appears, you can ultimately obtain a divorce judgment. However, courts are more cautious about property division and other issues when only one party participates, so thorough documentation becomes even more critical.

When to Get Professional Legal Help

While Connecticut allows you to represent yourself in divorce proceedings, contested cases—especially those with a non-cooperative spouse—often benefit from professional guidance. Consider consulting a family law attorney if your case involves significant assets, business ownership, complex retirement accounts, allegations of domestic violence, disputes over child custody, or a spouse who has hired their own attorney.

An attorney can help navigate procedural requirements, advocate for your interests in hearings, conduct discovery to uncover hidden assets, and ensure you don't inadvertently waive important rights. Many attorneys offer unbundled services, where they assist with specific aspects of your case rather than full representation, making legal help more accessible and affordable.

Even if you proceed without an attorney, resources like Untangle's AI legal guidance can help you understand the process, organize required documentation, and prepare for what lies ahead. Knowledge is power in contested divorce—the more you understand about your rights and the legal process, the better positioned you'll be to advocate for yourself when your spouse refuses to cooperate.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you serve divorce papers to a spouse who is avoiding you in Connecticut?

If your spouse is avoiding service, Connecticut allows alternative service methods such as service by publication in a newspaper or service by posting at the courthouse, with court approval.

What happens if my spouse doesn't respond to divorce papers in CT?

If your spouse fails to respond within 30 days of being served, you can request a default judgment, allowing the court to grant the divorce and make decisions on property, custody, and support without their input.

How long does a contested divorce take in Connecticut when a spouse won't cooperate?

A contested divorce in Connecticut typically takes 12 to 18 months or longer, depending on the complexity of issues like property division and custody disputes.

Do I need grounds for divorce if my spouse refuses to sign in Connecticut?

No, Connecticut is a no-fault divorce state, so you only need to establish "irretrievable breakdown" of the marriage, which does not require your spouse's agreement or signature.

How much does a contested divorce cost in CT when your spouse won't cooperate?

A contested divorce in Connecticut typically costs between $10,000 and $50,000 or more in attorney fees and court costs, depending on how many issues require litigation.