What is domestic violence protection in Connecticut divorce?

Going through a divorce is challenging enough, but when domestic violence is involved, your safety and your children's safety become the absolute top priority. If you are in this situation, please know that you are not alone, and Connecticut law provides specific tools to help you. The most important thing is to secure your safety first, and then navigate the legal process.

Domestic violence protection in a Connecticut divorce involves using legal orders to create a safe space for you and your children while the divorce process unfolds. These protections are not just about physical safety; they can also prevent financial abuse, harassment, and interference with your life. The two primary tools are civil restraining orders and criminal protective orders, which can have a significant impact on every aspect of your divorce, from child custody to financial settlements.

Understanding the Legal Shield: Restraining vs. Protective Orders

In Connecticut, the legal system offers powerful ways to protect victims of abuse. Understanding the difference between the two main types of orders is the first step.

Civil Restraining Order (Relief from Abuse): This is an order you, as an individual, request from the family court. You file an application asking a judge to order the abusive person to stop harming or threatening you and to stay away from you. It is a civil matter between you and your spouse. These orders are referenced throughout divorce law, for example, in the rules for simplified divorce (C.G.S. § 46b-44a) and custody decisions (C.G.S. § 46b-56).
Criminal Protective Order: This order is issued by a criminal court, usually after your spouse has been arrested for a family violence crime. The state prosecutor requests the order on behalf of the victim to ensure their safety while the criminal case is pending.

While both orders aim to protect you, this guide will focus primarily on the civil restraining order, as it is the tool most directly initiated by a person going through the divorce process in family court.

Connecticut Law: Your Right to Safety in a Divorce

Connecticut statutes are designed to protect you and your children from harm during a divorce. The court takes domestic violence very seriously, and it can influence the outcome of your case in several critical ways.

Emergency Protection for Children

If you believe your child is in immediate danger, Connecticut law allows you to seek an emergency order without waiting for a full hearing. This is called an ex parte order, meaning the judge can issue it based on your request alone, without the other parent being present initially.

According to the law, you can apply for an "emergency ex parte order of custody when such person believes an immediate and present risk of physical danger or psychological harm to the child exists" (C.G.S. § 46b-56f(a)).

To get this order, you must file an application with a sworn affidavit that explains:

The conditions creating the emergency.
Why the order is in your child's best interests.
What actions you took to let the other parent know you were filing, or why you couldn't.

If the judge agrees there is a risk, they can issue a temporary order that grants you custody, sets visitation rules, and prevents your spouse from taking the child out of state or interfering with their life (C.G.S. § 46b-56f(c)). A full hearing where both parents can be heard must then be scheduled within 14 days.

Impact on Custody and Parenting Decisions

Domestic violence is a major factor in all custody decisions. The law requires the court to prioritize the child's well-being. When making any custody or visitation order, the court must consider "the effect on the child of the actions of an abuser, if any domestic violence... has occurred between the parents" (C.G.S. § 46b-56(c)(15)).

This means that a history of abuse can lead a judge to award you sole custody or require that your spouse's visitation with the children be supervised to ensure their safety.

Impact on Financial Orders

The "causes for the... dissolution of the marriage" can be considered by the court when dividing property (C.G.S. § 46b-81(c)) and awarding alimony (C.G.S. § 46b-82(a)). If you file for divorce on the fault-based ground of "intolerable cruelty," the judge can take your spouse's abusive behavior into account when making financial decisions.

Furthermore, Connecticut has a very specific law that prohibits a judge from ordering an injured spouse to pay alimony to a spouse who has been convicted of a serious crime against them, such as attempted murder or a class A or B felony sexual assault (C.G.S. § 46b-82a).

Step-by-Step: How to Get a Restraining Order in Connecticut

If you need domestic violence protection during your Connecticut divorce, taking action can feel overwhelming. Here is a simplified, step-by-step guide to applying for a civil restraining order.

Step 1: Prioritize Immediate Safety If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Your physical safety is the most important thing. You can also contact CT Safe Connect, Connecticut’s 24/7 domestic violence hotline, for confidential support and safety planning.

Step 2: Go to the Superior Court You need to go to the Superior Court clerk's office in the judicial district where you or your spouse live. You can ask for the forms needed to apply for a "Relief from Abuse," which is the legal name for a civil restraining order. There is no fee to file this application.

Step 3: Complete the Application and Affidavit You will need to fill out an application and a sworn statement (affidavit). In the affidavit, you must describe the incidents of abuse or threats in detail. Be as specific as possible with dates, locations, and what happened. You will swear under oath that the information is true.

Step 4: The Ex Parte Hearing Once you file the paperwork, a judge will review it that same day, usually without your spouse present. If the judge finds from your affidavit that you are in immediate danger, they will issue a temporary (ex parte) restraining order. This order goes into effect as soon as it is legally delivered to your spouse.

Step 5: Service of the Order A state marshal must serve your spouse with a copy of your application, your affidavit, and the temporary restraining order. The papers will also include a date for a full court hearing. The marshal's service is crucial because the order is not enforceable until your spouse has received it.

Step 6: The Full Hearing A full hearing is typically scheduled within 14 days. At this hearing, both you and your spouse will have the opportunity to testify, present evidence, and call witnesses. After hearing from both sides, the judge will decide whether to issue a full restraining order, which can last for up to one year.

Important Considerations for Your Divorce Case

Obtaining domestic violence protection has significant implications for the divorce process itself.

No Simplified Divorce: If a restraining order is active between you and your spouse, you are not eligible to use Connecticut's simplified "nonadversarial" divorce process (C.G.S. § 46b-44a(b)(10)). Your case will proceed on the regular family docket.
Automatic Court Orders: When a divorce is filed, automatic orders go into effect that prevent either spouse from selling assets or removing children from insurance policies (Practice Book § 25-5). A restraining order can add more specific and immediate protections, such as ordering your spouse to leave the family home.
Parenting Education: If you have children, you and your spouse will be required to attend a parenting education program. The law ensures that program providers "shall provide safety and security for participants in the program, including victims of family violence" (C.G.S. § 46b-69b(e)). You can and should inform the program of your safety concerns.
Courtroom Privacy: Facing your abuser in court can be terrifying. You can ask the judge to hold a private hearing. The law states the court may "direct the hearing of any matter... to be private" and "exclude all persons except the officers of the court, a court reporter, the parties, their witnesses and their counsel" (C.G.S. § 46b-49).

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

What is the difference between a restraining order and a protective order?

A restraining order is a civil order you request from the family court to protect you from a family or household member. A protective order is a criminal order issued by a criminal court after an abuser has been arrested. Both can order the person to stay away from you, but they originate in different court systems.

How much does it cost to get domestic violence protection in a Connecticut divorce?

There is no court filing fee to apply for a civil restraining order in Connecticut. However, you will have to pay a state marshal to serve the court papers on your spouse. If you cannot afford the marshal's fee, you can file an "Application for Waiver of Fees" with the court.

Can my spouse be forced to leave our home?

Yes. A restraining order can include a provision that grants you exclusive use of the family home, meaning your spouse must leave, even if their name is on the lease or mortgage. The court can also grant this relief as part of the divorce case itself (C.G.S. § 46b-83).

What happens if my spouse violates the restraining order?

Violating a civil restraining order is a felony in Connecticut. If your spouse violates the order, call 911 immediately. The police can arrest them. You should also inform your divorce attorney, as it can be addressed in family court through a motion for contempt (C.G.S. § 46b-87).

Will a restraining order automatically give me sole custody?

It does not happen automatically, but it is a very powerful factor. The judge's primary duty is to protect the "best interests of the child," and the law explicitly requires the court to consider the impact of domestic violence on a child (C.G.S. § 46b-56(c)). Proving abuse makes it much more likely that a judge will grant you sole custody or order supervised visitation for your spouse.

Can I get protection for my children as well?

Absolutely. When you apply for a restraining order, you can and should ask that your children be included as protected persons. The order can prohibit your spouse from contacting them or coming near their school or daycare. You can also seek an emergency custody order specifically for their protection (C.G.S. § 46b-56f).

Do I have to face my abuser in court?

This is a common and valid fear. While you will likely need to be present for the hearing, you do not have to do it alone. Your attorney will speak for you, and court marshals are present to ensure safety. You can also request a private hearing to limit who is in the courtroom (C.G.S. § 46b-49).

Getting Help

Navigating the intersection of domestic violence and divorce is complex and emotionally draining. You do not have to do it by yourself.

Legal Help: It is highly recommended that you speak with an experienced Connecticut family law attorney who understands the dynamics of domestic violence. They can help you file for a restraining order, represent you in court, and advocate for your safety and rights throughout the divorce.
Domestic Violence Resources: Connecticut has a statewide domestic violence hotline called CT Safe Connect. You can call or text them 24/7 at (888) 774-2900 for confidential support, safety planning, and connections to local resources.
Court-Based Advocates: Most Connecticut courthouses have victim advocates available through local domestic violence agencies. They can provide support and assistance as you navigate the court process.

Conclusion

Your safety is paramount. Connecticut's legal system provides robust domestic violence protection during a divorce, and using these tools can be a critical step toward a safer future for you and your children. From emergency orders to their impact on final custody and financial decisions, these protections are designed to shield you from further harm. Remember to lean on professional support—both legal and emotional—as you take these brave and necessary steps.