What if my spouse refuses to sign divorce papers in Connecticut?

It’s one of the most common and frustrating roadblocks in the divorce process: you’ve decided the marriage is over, but your spouse is digging in their heels, declaring, "I'm not signing anything." If you're in this situation, take a deep breath. While it’s incredibly stressful, the simple truth is that your spouse cannot legally prevent you from getting a divorce in Connecticut.

A common myth is that both people have to agree to end a marriage. In Connecticut, that’s not the case. The law recognizes that it only takes one person to decide a marriage has ended. If your spouse refuses to sign divorce papers in Connecticut, it doesn’t stop the process; it just changes the path you’ll need to take. Instead of a simple, agreed-upon divorce, you will proceed with what is known as a "contested" or, more likely, a "default" divorce.

This guide will walk you through exactly what happens when an uncooperative spouse won't sign, how Connecticut law protects your right to move forward, and the specific steps you can take to finalize your divorce and begin your next chapter.

Understanding the "Signing" Myth in a Connecticut Divorce

First, let's clarify what "signing divorce papers" actually means. The phrase can refer to a few different documents, and your spouse's refusal to sign each one has a different consequence.

Signing a Waiver of Service: When you start a divorce, you must legally notify your spouse. Signing a waiver is a convenient way for them to acknowledge they received the initial paperwork without needing a professional to hand-deliver it. If they refuse to sign this, it’s a minor inconvenience. It simply means you must proceed with formal service.
Signing a Settlement Agreement: This is a detailed contract that you and your spouse create together, outlining how you’ll divide property, handle custody, and manage support. If your spouse refuses to negotiate or sign a final agreement, it means your case is "contested." The court will have to decide these issues for you.
Signing a Joint Petition for a Non-Adversarial Divorce: This is a simplified divorce path available only to couples who meet very strict criteria (like a short marriage, no kids, and limited assets) and agree on everything from the start (C.G.S. § 46b-44a). If your spouse refuses to sign the joint petition, you simply cannot use this specific shortcut. You must file for a regular divorce instead.

The key takeaway is that in every scenario, a refusal to sign is a hurdle, not a dead end.

Connecticut Law: Why One Person Can End a Marriage

Connecticut is what’s known as a "no-fault" divorce state. This is the most important legal concept to understand when your spouse refuses to sign divorce papers in Connecticut.

The primary ground for divorce in Connecticut is the "irretrievable breakdown" of the marriage (C.G.S. § 46b-40(c)(1)). This legal standard means the marriage is broken beyond any reasonable hope of repair. To grant a divorce, a judge only needs to find that this breakdown has occurred.

Crucially, the law does not require both spouses to agree that the marriage is over. According to C.G.S. § 46b-51, the court can find that a marriage has broken down if just one party testifies to that fact. In reality, one spouse’s refusal to participate or sign anything is often the strongest possible evidence for the judge that the marriage has, indeed, broken down irretrievably. Their refusal to cooperate proves your point for you.

The Step-by-Step Process When Your Spouse Won't Cooperate

If you're facing a situation where your spouse refuses to sign divorce papers in Connecticut, the legal system has a clear process to ensure your case moves forward. It’s called proceeding by "default."

Step 1: File the Divorce Complaint

You begin the divorce process on your own. You (the "filing spouse") will complete a Summons and a Divorce Complaint. These documents officially start the lawsuit. You file them with the Superior Court clerk in the appropriate judicial district. You do not need your spouse’s signature for this step.

Step 2: Formal Service of Process

This is the most critical step when dealing with an uncooperative spouse. Since they won't voluntarily accept the papers, you must have them formally "served." In Connecticut, this is done by a state marshal.

The state marshal will personally deliver a copy of the Summons and Complaint to your spouse ("in-hand service") or leave it at their usual place of residence ("abode service"). This official delivery, documented in a "Return of Service" filed with the court, proves that your spouse has been legally notified of the divorce action. Once served, the court has jurisdiction over them, whether they choose to participate or not (C.G.S. § 46b-45).

Step 3: The Waiting Period and Automatic Orders

Once your spouse is served, two things happen automatically:

The 90-Day Waiting Period Begins: Connecticut law requires a mandatory waiting period of at least 90 days from the start of the case (the "return date" on the Summons) before a judge can grant the final divorce (C.G.S. § 46b-67). This period allows time for emotions to cool and for the responding spouse to decide if they want to participate.
Automatic Orders Go Into Effect: The moment the papers are served, a set of court orders automatically applies to both you and your spouse. These Automatic Orders are designed to maintain the status quo and protect both parties. They prohibit either spouse from selling assets, draining bank accounts, removing children from the state, or changing insurance beneficiaries (Practice Book § 25-5). This is a vital protection for you when your spouse is uncooperative.

Step 4: Motion for Default and the Final Hearing

After being served, your spouse has a specific timeframe to formally respond by filing an "Appearance" form with the court. If they fail to do this, they are in "default."

At this point, you can file a "Motion for Default for Failure to Appear." According to C.G.S. § 46b-67(b), you can file this motion no sooner than 30 days after the return date.

The court will then schedule a hearing. Because your spouse has defaulted, they have given up their right to present their side of the story. At the hearing, the judge will:

Review the file to ensure service was done correctly.
Listen to your testimony about why the marriage has broken down.
Review your sworn Financial Statement, which details your income, assets, debts, and expenses.
Make final orders regarding property division, alimony, and child-related issues based on the evidence you provide and Connecticut law.

The judge can grant the divorce and issue all necessary orders at this hearing, even if your spouse is not present. This is how you can finalize a divorce even when a spouse refuses to sign divorce papers in Connecticut.

Important Considerations

Navigating a default divorce requires careful attention to detail. Here are some key things to keep in mind.

Contested vs. Default

A spouse’s refusal to sign turns a potentially simple, uncontested case into a more complex one. While a default divorce is often more straightforward than a fully contested trial where both sides are fighting over every issue, it still requires more procedural steps, time, and expense than a case where both parties cooperate.

Serving a Spouse Who Is Hiding

What if your spouse is actively avoiding the state marshal? If you can't locate them, you can't serve them personally. In this situation, your attorney can ask the court for an "Order of Notice" (C.G.S. § 46b-46). This allows for alternative methods of service, such as publishing a notice in a newspaper. This is a last resort, but it ensures the divorce can proceed even if your spouse is intentionally hiding.

The Importance of Your Financial Statement

Even in a default, the court needs information to make fair and equitable decisions. Your Financial Statement is the most important document you will file. The judge will rely on it to divide property under C.G.S. § 46b-81 and to determine appropriate alimony (C.G.S. § 46b-82) and child support (C.G.S. § 46b-84). Be thorough and accurate. If your spouse fails to file their own statement, the court is permitted to make orders based solely on the information you have provided.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Can my spouse stop the divorce by refusing to sign?

No. A spouse’s refusal to sign divorce papers in Connecticut cannot stop the legal process. It will force the case to proceed by default, but it will not prevent a judge from granting the divorce.

What if I don't know where my spouse is?

If you cannot locate your spouse to have them served, your attorney can file a motion with the court requesting an "Order of Notice." A judge can authorize an alternative form of notification, such as service by publication in a newspaper, which satisfies the legal requirement and allows your case to move forward (C.G.S. § 46b-46).

How long will it take to get divorced if my spouse won't cooperate?

It will take longer than a simple, uncontested divorce. You must account for the time it takes a state marshal to complete service, the mandatory 90-day waiting period, and the time it takes to file a motion for default and get a hearing date. The entire process can take several months.

Will it cost more if my spouse refuses to sign?

Yes, almost certainly. You will have to pay a state marshal's fee for service of process. You will also likely have higher attorney's fees, as your lawyer will need to draft and file additional motions and represent you at a default hearing.

What happens to our property and debts if they don't participate?

The court will divide your marital property and debts "equitably" based on the factors listed in Connecticut law (C.G.S. § 46b-81). The judge will make these decisions based on the information you provide in your financial statement and testimony, as your spouse has forfeited their opportunity to present their side.

Can I still get alimony or child support if my spouse defaults?

Absolutely. The court can and will issue orders for alimony and child support in a default judgment. These orders will be based on your financial needs, your spouse's likely earning capacity (even if they don't provide income information), and the Connecticut Child Support Guidelines.

What is a "default divorce"?

A "default divorce" is a divorce that is granted after one party (the defendant) fails to respond or participate in the court case after being properly and legally notified. The court proceeds based on the information provided by the participating party (the plaintiff).

Getting Help When Your Spouse Refuses to Cooperate

Facing an uncooperative spouse adds a significant layer of stress and complexity to an already difficult process. While you can legally get divorced on your own, navigating the specific rules for formal service, default motions, and court hearings is challenging.

Working with an experienced Connecticut divorce attorney is the best way to protect your rights and ensure the process is handled correctly. An attorney can manage all communication, hire the state marshal, file the necessary paperwork with the court, and represent you at the final hearing to advocate for a fair outcome regarding your property, finances, and children.

Conclusion

If your spouse refuses to sign divorce papers in Connecticut, remember that you hold the power to move forward. Their refusal is a form of control, but it is not a legal barrier. The Connecticut legal system provides a clear path through formal service of process and a default judgment to ensure that no one can be held hostage in an unwanted marriage.

By understanding the process and seeking professional legal guidance, you can confidently navigate this challenge, secure your divorce, and begin building your future.