What if my ex moves out of state after divorce in Connecticut?

Finding out your ex-spouse wants to move out of state with your child can be one of the most stressful moments a parent can face. Your mind likely races with questions about your rights, your relationship with your child, and what the future will look like. The good news is, in Connecticut, a parent can't simply pack up and move a child across state lines without permission. The law provides a clear process to ensure any relocation is handled thoughtfully and with your child's well-being as the top priority.

This article will walk you through what happens when an ex moves out of state from Connecticut, explaining the laws that apply, the steps you need to take, and what a judge will consider. While this situation is emotionally charged, understanding the process can empower you to protect your relationship with your child.

Understanding Relocation in Connecticut

After a divorce, your final orders include a parenting plan that outlines custody and visitation. This plan is a court order, and both parents are legally required to follow it. A significant move, especially out of state, almost always makes the existing parenting plan impossible to follow.

Because of this, Connecticut law has specific rules for what's known as "post-judgment relocation." The core principle is that any decision about moving a child must serve the best interests of the child, not just the desires of the parent who wants to move. The court's goal is to protect the child's stability and their relationship with both parents.

Connecticut Law: The Relocation Statute (C.G.S. § 46b-56d)

The primary law governing this issue is Connecticut General Statutes § 46b-56d. This statute applies to any post-divorce situation where a parent's move with the child "would have a significant impact on an existing parenting plan." A move out of state almost certainly meets this standard.

Under this law, the parent who wants to move has the burden of proof. This is a critical point. It means they are the one who must convince the judge that the move should be allowed. To do this, they must prove three things by a "preponderance of the evidence" (meaning it's more likely than not):

The relocation is for a legitimate purpose. The reason for the move must be genuine and not intended to interfere with the other parent's relationship with the child. Examples of a legitimate purpose could include a significant career opportunity, being closer to a necessary family support system, or pursuing a unique educational program.
The proposed location is reasonable in light of that purpose. The new location must make sense. For example, if the parent's legitimate purpose is a new job in Boston, moving to San Diego would not be considered reasonable.
The relocation is in the best interests of the child. This is the most important factor and where the court focuses most of its attention.

Factors the Court Considers for the Child's Best Interests

When deciding if a move is in the child's best interest, C.G.S. § 46b-56d(b) requires the judge to consider several specific factors:

Each parent's reasons for seeking or opposing the relocation.
The quality of the relationships between the child and each parent.
The impact of the relocation on the quantity and quality of the child's future contact with the non-relocating parent.
The degree to which the relocating parent's and the child's life may be enhanced economically, emotionally, and educationally by the move.
The feasibility of preserving the relationship between the non-relocating parent and the child through suitable visitation arrangements.

The court will also consider the general "best interest" factors listed in C.G.S. § 46b-56(c), which apply to all custody decisions. These include the child's developmental needs, their adjustment to their home and school, the stability of their environment, and the child's informed preference if they are of a sufficient age and maturity.

The Step-by-Step Process for Relocation

If your ex wants to move out of state with your child, the process generally follows these steps.

Step 1: Communication and Attempting to Agree

The first and best step is for the parents to communicate. If you can both agree on the move and work out a new, long-distance parenting plan, you can avoid a lengthy and expensive court battle.

If you reach an agreement, you should put it in writing, sign it, and submit it to the court. A judge will review it to ensure it is "fair and equitable" and in the child's best interest, as required by C.G.S. § 46b-66. If the judge approves it, the agreement becomes a new, enforceable court order.

Step 2: Filing a Motion for Relocation

If you cannot agree, the parent who wants to move must file a "Motion for Modification of Custody/Visitation re: Relocation" with the Superior Court. They cannot move without a court order. This motion officially starts the legal process.

Step 3: The Court Process and Hearing

Once the motion is filed, the court will schedule hearings. This process can involve several stages:

Discovery: Both sides exchange information, including financial documents and evidence related to the reasons for the move and the child's best interests.
Appointment of a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) or Attorney for the Minor Child (AMC): In highly contested relocation cases, the court may appoint a neutral professional to represent the child's best interests (C.G.S. § 46b-54). The GAL/AMC will investigate the situation, speak with the parents, the child, teachers, and others, and make a recommendation to the court.
The Hearing: This is a formal trial where both parents present evidence and testimony to support their position. You will testify, and you can call witnesses. The judge will listen to both sides and apply the legal standards from C.G.S. § 46b-56d.

Step 4: The Judge's Decision

After the hearing, the judge will issue a written decision.

If the move is DENIED: The existing parenting plan remains in effect. The parent is free to move, but the child must remain in Connecticut.
If the move is APPROVED: The judge will grant the relocation and issue a new, detailed long-distance parenting plan. This new plan will address when and how the non-relocating parent will see the child, including specifics on school vacations, summer breaks, telephone/video calls, and who is responsible for travel costs.

Important Considerations When an Ex Moves Out of State in Connecticut

What if My Ex Moves Without Permission?

Moving a child out of state without the other parent's written consent or a court order is a serious violation. If this happens, you should act immediately. You can file an "Emergency Ex Parte Application for Custody" (C.G.S. § 46b-56f), which asks the judge for an immediate order for the child's return. You should also file a "Motion for Contempt" (Practice Book § 25-27), as your ex has willfully violated the existing court orders. This is a situation where you must contact a family law attorney right away.

What if the Move is Just Over the Border?

The law applies when a move has a "significant impact" on the parenting plan. A move from Greenwich, CT, to Port Chester, NY, might not have a significant impact on a mid-week dinner visit. However, a move from Stamford, CT, to Springfield, MA, almost certainly would. There is no specific mileage rule; the court looks at the practical effect on the parenting schedule and the child's life.

Relocation Before the Divorce is Final

If you are in the middle of a divorce, the Automatic Orders (Practice Book § 25-5) are in effect. These orders explicitly state that "neither party shall permanently remove the minor child or children from the State of Connecticut, without the written consent of the other party or an order of the court." Any attempt to move the child out of state during the divorce process is a direct violation of these orders.

Frequently Asked Questions About Relocation

1. Can my ex move out of state with our child if we were never married?

Yes, the same relocation laws apply. If you have a court order for custody and parenting time, even if you were never married, the parent seeking to move with the child must follow the process outlined in C.G.S. § 46b-56d. These cases are typically initiated under C.G.S. § 46b-61, which governs custody for parents who live separately.

2. Does my child get to decide if they want to move?

The court will consider the "informed preferences of the child" if the child is old enough and mature enough to express a reasonable opinion (C.G.S. § 46b-56(c)(4)). However, the child's preference is just one factor among many. It is not the deciding factor, and the final decision rests with the judge based on the child's overall best interests.

3. Who pays for travel expenses if the move is approved?

The court will decide how travel costs are divided. This decision is often based on each parent's financial situation. The judge might order the costs to be split 50/50, allocated in proportion to income, or assign the full responsibility to the parent who chose to move.

4. How can I stop my ex from moving out of state from Connecticut?

You can't stop your ex-spouse from moving, as they have a right to live where they choose. However, you can object to them moving with your child. To do this, you must participate in the court process, present evidence showing why the move is not for a legitimate purpose or is not in your child's best interest, and demonstrate the negative impact it would have on your relationship with your child.

5. What does a long-distance parenting plan look like?

If a relocation is approved, the old "every other weekend" schedule is no longer practical. A new plan will focus on maximizing quality time during longer periods. This often includes:

The child spending most of the summer vacation with the non-relocating parent.
Alternating major school holidays like winter break and spring break.
Scheduled, frequent video and phone calls.
Clear rules about travel arrangements and costs.

6. How long does a relocation case take in Connecticut?

The timeline varies greatly. If parents agree, it can be resolved in a few weeks. If it's contested, a relocation case can take many months, or even over a year, to resolve through a full trial.

Getting Help

Navigating a situation where your ex moves out of state from Connecticut is legally complex and emotionally draining. The outcome will have a lasting impact on your family. Because the relocating parent has the burden of proof, it is crucial for both parents to have skilled legal representation. An experienced Connecticut family law attorney can help you understand your rights, gather the necessary evidence, and present the strongest possible case to the court, whether you are the parent seeking to move or the one seeking to keep your child in Connecticut.

Conclusion

When an ex-spouse plans to move out of state with your child, remember that Connecticut law puts your child's well-being first. Permission is always required, either from you or from a judge. The process is designed to be thorough, ensuring that any move is for a good reason and, most importantly, is truly in your child's best interest. By understanding the law and seeking professional guidance, you can navigate this challenging process and advocate effectively for your child and your parental rights.