What happens if we can't reach an agreement in Connecticut?

It’s one of the most common and stressful questions people face during a divorce: "What happens if we just can't agree?" The vision of a simple, amicable split can quickly fade when you and your spouse are at odds over parenting, finances, or the family home. First, take a deep breath. It’s normal to have disagreements, and the Connecticut legal system has a clear, structured process for resolving them.

The short answer is this: if you and your spouse absolutely can't reach an agreement in your Connecticut divorce, your case is considered a contested divorce. This means that instead of you making the decisions together, a Superior Court judge will make the final, binding decisions for you after a trial. While that might sound intimidating, it’s important to know that you have many opportunities to settle your case along the way, even after it starts out as contested.

This guide will walk you through the entire process, explaining what happens when you disagree, how a judge makes decisions, and the steps you'll take on the path to a resolution.

Understanding the Shift: From Uncontested to Contested Divorce

In Connecticut, divorces fall into two main categories:

Uncontested Divorce: This is when you and your spouse agree on every single issue—property division, alimony, child custody, and child support. You present your written agreement to the court, and a judge reviews it to ensure it's fair and equitable before making it a final order.
Contested Divorce: This happens the moment there is even one issue you can't agree on. If you can't reach an agreement in your Connecticut divorce, your case enters the court system's litigation track.

It's crucial to understand that "contested" doesn't automatically mean a full-blown, dramatic courtroom battle. Most contested cases eventually settle before a trial. The process is designed to help you gather information, negotiate from a place of knowledge, and use court resources to find common ground. A trial is the final step, used only when all other attempts to reach a resolution have failed.

The Legal Foundation: How a Judge Decides When You Disagree

When you can't settle your divorce, a judge doesn't simply pick a winner. Their decisions are guided by specific laws that outline what they must consider. Understanding these factors is key to preparing your case.

Property and Debt Division

Connecticut is an "equitable distribution" state. This doesn't mean a 50/50 split; it means a fair split. According to Connecticut law, when dividing property, the court must consider a list of factors. As stated in C.G.S. § 46b-81(c), these include:

The length of the marriage
The causes for the divorce
The age, health, station, and occupation of each spouse
The amount and sources of income for each spouse
Vocational skills, employability, and earning capacity
The estate, liabilities, and needs of each party
The opportunity for each to acquire future assets and income
The contribution of each spouse to the acquisition, preservation, or appreciation of the assets (including homemaking contributions)

The judge weighs these factors to arrive at a property division order that is fair and equitable under all the circumstances.

Alimony (Spousal Support)

Similarly, if you and your spouse disagree on alimony, the judge will look to the law. C.G.S. § 46b-82(a) lists nearly identical factors as those for property division. The court analyzes the needs of the spouse requesting alimony and the other spouse's ability to pay. The judge decides if alimony is appropriate, for how long, and in what amount.

Child Custody and Parenting Plans

When parents can't agree on a parenting plan, the court's decision is based on one guiding principle: the best interests of the child. This is not just a vague idea; it's a detailed legal standard. C.G.S. § 46b-56(c) provides a list of at least 17 factors the judge must consider, including:

The child's temperament and developmental needs
The capacity of each parent to understand and meet the child's needs
The child's wishes, if they are of a sufficient age and maturity
The past and current relationship between the child and each parent
The willingness of each parent to encourage a relationship between the child and the other parent
Any manipulation or coercive behavior by a parent
The child's adjustment to their home, school, and community
The mental and physical health of everyone involved

The judge uses these factors to create a detailed parenting plan that outlines decision-making authority and a parenting time schedule.

The Path Forward When You Can't Reach an Agreement in a Connecticut Divorce

If you find yourself in a contested divorce, here is the step-by-step process you can expect to follow in the Connecticut court system.

Step 1: Case Management and the "Pathways" System

Once your divorce is filed, it enters Connecticut's case management system, known as "Pathways." Your case will be assigned a "Resolution Plan Date," typically held 30 to 60 days after the case is filed (Practice Book § 25-50A). On this date, you and your spouse will meet with a Family Relations Counselor.

The counselor's job is to:

Identify the issues you agree on and those you don't.
Assess the level of conflict and complexity.
Recommend a "track" for your case (Track A for simple cases, B for moderate, C for complex).

The judge will then issue a Scheduling Order that sets deadlines for discovery, motions, and future court dates. This creates a roadmap for your case.

Step 2: The Discovery Process

Discovery is the formal process of gathering information and evidence from your spouse and third parties (like banks or employers). This is a critical step when you can't reach an agreement because it ensures both you and the judge have a complete and accurate picture of your finances and circumstances.

Common discovery tools include:

Financial Affidavits: A sworn statement detailing your income, expenses, assets, and debts. This is required in all cases.
Mandatory Disclosure: Within 60 days of a request, parties must automatically exchange key documents like tax returns, pay stubs, and bank statements (Practice Book § 25-32).
Interrogatories: Written questions that your spouse must answer under oath.
Requests for Production: Formal requests for documents, such as business records, credit card statements, or retirement account information.
Depositions: Out-of-court testimony where one party's attorney questions the other party or a witness under oath in front of a court reporter.

Step 3: Pendente Lite Motions (Temporary Orders)

You don't have to wait until the end of your divorce for help. If you can't agree on pressing issues, you can ask the court for temporary orders, known as pendente lite orders. These orders stay in effect while the divorce is pending.

You can file motions asking a judge to decide on:

Temporary child custody and parenting time
Temporary child support and alimony
Who gets to live in the family home (C.G.S. § 46b-83)
Payment of the mortgage and household bills
Payment of attorney's fees (C.G.S. § 46b-62)

These motions are scheduled for a hearing where a judge will listen to both sides and make a temporary ruling.

Step 4: Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR)

Even in a contested case, the court strongly encourages you to try and settle. You will likely be required to participate in some form of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR).

Mediation: A neutral third-party mediator helps you and your spouse negotiate and try to find a compromise (C.G.S. § 46b-53a).
Special Masters Pre-Trial: You and your attorneys meet with one or two experienced volunteer divorce lawyers (the "Special Masters") who will review your case, listen to both sides, and give you a recommendation on how they think a judge would likely rule at trial. This is often a very effective settlement tool.

Step 5: The Pre-Trial Conference

If you still can't reach an agreement, your case will be scheduled for a pre-trial conference with a judge. This is another intensive settlement conference. Before the pre-trial, you must submit detailed documents, including a memorandum outlining your position and your proposed final orders (Practice Book § 25-50A(f)). The judge will meet with the attorneys, discuss the strengths and weaknesses of each side's case, and try to help you reach a final settlement.

Step 6: The Divorce Trial

If all else fails, your case will proceed to trial. A divorce trial is a formal court proceeding where:

You and your spouse, through your attorneys, present evidence to the judge.
You can call witnesses, such as financial experts, custody evaluators, or friends and family.
Your attorney will conduct direct examination of your witnesses and cross-examine your spouse's witnesses.
You will likely have to testify.
At the end, the attorneys make closing arguments summarizing the evidence and arguing why the judge should rule in their client's favor.

Step 7: The Judgment

After the trial concludes, the judge will take some time to review all the evidence and testimony. They will then issue a written decision, called a Memorandum of Decision, which explains their rulings on all the disputed issues. This decision becomes the final, legally binding Judgment of Dissolution.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Can my spouse force me to settle if we can't reach an agreement?

No. You have a constitutional right to have your day in court. While the system is designed to encourage settlement, and a judge may strongly recommend it, no one can force you to accept an agreement you believe is unfair. If you can't reach an agreement in your Connecticut divorce, you have the right to a trial.

How long does a contested divorce take in Connecticut?

A contested divorce takes significantly longer than an uncontested one. While a simple, uncontested case might take a few months, a case that requires extensive discovery, multiple motions, and a trial can easily take a year or more to complete, depending on the court's schedule and the complexity of your issues.

What if we only disagree on one thing, like alimony?

You don't have to go to trial on every single issue. You can reach a partial agreement on all the issues you agree on (like the parenting plan and property division) and have a limited trial focused only on the one issue you can't resolve (like alimony). This can save significant time and money.

Will we definitely have to go to trial if we can't reach an agreement in our Connecticut divorce?

Not necessarily. A trial is the last resort. The vast majority of contested cases settle at some point before a trial begins—often during mediation, at the Special Masters pre-trial, or at the judicial pre-trial conference.

Can I get temporary financial support while we are fighting in court?

Yes. You can file a pendente lite motion asking the court to order temporary alimony and/or child support while your divorce is ongoing. The court will hold a hearing and make an order based on your financial affidavits and the legal factors in C.G.S. § 46b-83.

What is a custody evaluation?

If parents have serious disagreements about what is in their child's best interests, the court may appoint a neutral mental health professional to conduct a custody evaluation. This evaluator will meet with the parents and children, speak to collateral contacts (like teachers or therapists), and write a detailed report with recommendations for the court. These can be done by the court's Family Services unit or by a private evaluator (Practice Book § 25-60A).

Who decides the parenting plan if we can't agree?

The judge will decide. After hearing evidence from both parents and any experts, the judge will create a comprehensive parenting plan that he or she believes is in the best interests of the child, based on the factors in C.G.S. § 46b-56.

Does it matter who is "at fault" if we can't agree?

Connecticut is a "no-fault" divorce state, meaning you only need to state that the marriage has "broken down irretrievably." However, the law does allow the judge to consider the "causes for the dissolution" when deciding on alimony and property division (C.G.S. § 46b-81 and § 46b-82). So, while fault isn't required, extreme behavior like adultery or abuse can potentially influence the financial outcome.

Getting Help When You Can't Agree

Navigating a contested divorce is complex. The rules of evidence, court procedures, and legal deadlines are difficult for a non-lawyer to manage. When you can't reach an agreement in your Connecticut divorce, it is essential to have an experienced family law attorney on your side.

A skilled attorney will help you:

Understand your rights and obligations under Connecticut law.
Manage the discovery process to get the information you need.
File motions to protect your interests and get temporary orders.
Represent you in settlement negotiations, mediation, and pre-trials.
Prepare your case and advocate for you effectively at trial if necessary.

Conclusion

Facing a situation where you can't reach an agreement in your Connecticut divorce can feel overwhelming, but it is a path that many have walked before. The court system provides a structured framework to move your case forward, gather necessary information, and resolve disputes one step at a time.

While the goal is always to find a fair settlement without the need for a trial, knowing that there is a process in place to make final decisions can provide a sense of security. With the right legal guidance, you can navigate this challenging process and move forward to the next chapter of your life.