How do I enforce a custody order in Connecticut?

Feeling frustrated, worried, or angry when a co-parent doesn't follow your custody order is completely understandable. You went through the difficult divorce process to get a clear, court-approved parenting plan, and you rely on it for stability. When that plan is ignored, it throws your life—and more importantly, your child's life—into chaos. The good news is that Connecticut courts take their orders very seriously, and you have clear legal options to address violations.

The primary tool you'll use to enforce a custody order in Connecticut is a Motion for Contempt. This is a formal request asking the court to step in, find that the other parent has willfully violated the order, and issue new orders to compel their compliance. It sends a strong message that the parenting plan is not just a suggestion; it's a legally binding mandate that must be followed.

This guide will walk you through the entire process, from understanding the legal foundation to the practical steps you can take to protect your rights and your child's well-being.

Understanding Custody Orders and Violations

A custody order, often called a parenting plan in Connecticut, is the legally binding document signed by a judge that outlines the rights and responsibilities of each parent. It covers two main areas:

Legal Custody: Who makes the major decisions for your child regarding health, education, and religious upbringing. This is often joint.
Physical Custody: Where the child lives and the specific schedule of parenting time (visitation) each parent has.

A violation occurs anytime one parent fails to follow the specific terms of this order. Common violations include:

Refusing to drop off the child at the scheduled time.
Consistently being late for exchanges.
Taking the child on vacation without permission or proper notice.
Making major decisions without consulting the other parent (if joint legal custody is ordered).
Denying phone calls or other communication between the child and the other parent.
Relocating with the child without court permission.

Connecticut Law: The Power to Enforce Your Order

When you need to enforce a custody order in Connecticut, you aren't just asking the court for a favor—you're invoking specific laws and rules designed to uphold the court's authority. The legal framework gives judges the power to hold non-compliant parents accountable.

The Motion for Contempt

The cornerstone of enforcement is the Motion for Contempt. The rules for filing this motion are laid out in the Connecticut Practice Book. Specifically, Practice Book § 25-27 requires that your motion must clearly state:

The date and exact language of the court order that was violated.
The specific actions (or inactions) of the other parent that you believe constitute a violation.
The relief you are asking the court to grant.

This isn't just a general complaint; it's a precise legal document that puts the other parent on notice of exactly what they are accused of doing wrong.

The Court's Authority to Act

Once you file the motion, the court has broad power to act. According to Connecticut General Statutes (C.G.S.) § 46b-87, if a person is found in contempt of a court order, the court can take several actions. Most importantly for enforcement, the statute allows the court to award "a reasonable attorney's fee" to the person who had to file the motion. This means if you win, the non-compliant parent may be ordered to pay for your legal costs.

The court's ultimate goal in any custody matter is to act in the best interests of the child, a standard reinforced throughout Connecticut's family laws, including C.G.S. § 46b-56. Therefore, any enforcement action will be viewed through the lens of what is best for your child's stability and well-being.

Step-by-Step: How to Enforce a Custody Order in Connecticut

Navigating the court system can feel intimidating, but the process for enforcing a parenting plan follows a logical path. Here are the steps you'll typically take.

Step 1: Try to Resolve the Issue Amicably (If Possible and Safe)

Before heading to court, consider reaching out to your co-parent in writing (email or text is best for documentation). Calmly and clearly point out the specific part of the custody order that was violated and ask them to comply in the future.

Example: "Hi [Co-parent's Name], just a reminder that our parenting plan states that vacation requests need to be made 30 days in advance. I didn't receive notice for your upcoming trip. Please make sure to follow that procedure next time."

This step is not always possible, especially if there is a history of conflict or domestic violence. Your safety and your child's safety always come first. However, if the relationship allows for it, showing a judge you tried to resolve it yourself first can be beneficial. Keep copies of all communication.

Step 2: Gather Your Evidence

To succeed on a Motion for Contempt, you must prove that the other parent's violation was a willful violation—meaning they knew what the order said and chose not to follow it. It can't be an honest mistake or a misunderstanding.

Collect documentation that proves the violation, such as:

Text messages and emails showing their refusal to follow the schedule.
A calendar or journal where you've logged every late or missed exchange.
Voicemails.
Photos or social media posts (e.g., showing them on an unapproved vacation).
Names of any witnesses who saw the violation occur.

The more organized and specific your evidence is, the stronger your case will be.

Step 3: File a Motion for Contempt

If informal attempts fail, it's time to file a Motion for Contempt (Form JD-FM-15) with the Superior Court that issued your original custody order. As required by Practice Book § 25-27, your motion must be specific. You can't just say, "They're not following the order." You must list each violation with dates and details.

You will also state what you want the court to do. This can include:

Finding the other parent in contempt.
Ordering them to pay your attorney's fees and costs (C.G.S. § 46b-87).
Ordering "make-up" parenting time for any time you lost.
Clarifying the language in the original order to prevent future confusion.
Ordering the other parent to attend a parenting class or co-parenting counseling.

Step 4: Serve the Other Parent

After filing the motion, you must legally notify the other parent. This is called "service of process." You cannot simply mail it or hand it to them yourself. You must have a state marshal deliver a copy of the motion and the court hearing notice to the other parent. This ensures they are officially aware of the hearing and have an opportunity to respond.

Step 5: The Court Hearing

At the hearing, both you and the other parent will have a chance to present your cases to a judge. You will present your evidence and explain how the other parent willfully violated the order. The other parent will have a chance to defend their actions.

The judge will listen to both sides and may ask questions. The key is to remain calm, stick to the facts, and focus on the violations of the order, not on general complaints about your co-parent.

Step 6: The Court's Decision

After hearing the evidence, the judge will make a decision. If the judge finds the other parent in contempt, they can issue orders to force compliance. Possible outcomes include:

A Finding of Contempt: A formal declaration that the parent violated the order.
An Order to Comply: A direct command from the judge to follow the parenting plan.
Make-Up Parenting Time: Granting you extra time to compensate for what was missed.
Attorney's Fees: Ordering the non-compliant parent to pay your legal costs.
Modification of the Order: If the judge believes the current order is unclear or no longer working, they may modify it to be more specific.
Fines or Sanctions: In more serious cases, the court can impose fines.
Jail Time: This is extremely rare and reserved for severe, repeated, and flagrant violations of court orders. It is a last resort.

Important Considerations When Enforcing a Custody Order

What If It's an Emergency?

If you believe your child is in "an immediate and present risk of physical danger or psychological harm," you can seek an Emergency Ex Parte Order of Custody. According to C.G.S. § 46b-56f, this allows you to go to court without the other parent present to get a temporary order for the child's protection. The court will then schedule a full hearing within 14 days. This is a serious step reserved for true emergencies.

Can I Withhold Child Support or Parenting Time?

Absolutely not. It is crucial to understand that child support and parenting time are separate issues in the eyes of the law. If your co-parent is violating the custody order, you cannot retaliate by withholding their parenting time. Likewise, if they are not paying child support, you cannot deny them their scheduled time with the child. Taking matters into your own hands will put you in violation of the court order and severely damage your credibility with the judge.

Mediation as an Alternative

For some disputes, particularly those involving visitation, mediation can be a useful tool. C.G.S. § 46b-59a allows the court system to establish mediation programs to help resolve these issues without a formal contempt hearing. Mediation is a confidential process where a neutral third party helps you and your co-parent reach an agreement. It can be faster, cheaper, and less adversarial than going to court.

Frequently Asked Questions About Enforcing Custody Orders in CT

1. What's the difference between a Motion for Contempt and a Motion for Modification?

A Motion for Contempt asks the court to enforce the existing order. A Motion for Modification asks the court to change the order because there has been a "substantial change in circumstances." If the problem is that the other parent simply isn't following the rules, contempt is the right path. If the rules themselves no longer work for your family's situation, you would file for a modification.

2. How much does it cost to enforce a custody order in Connecticut?

Costs can vary. There is a court filing fee for the motion. The largest cost is typically attorney's fees. However, as stated in C.G.S. § 46b-87, if the court finds the other parent in contempt, it has the discretion to order them to pay your reasonable legal fees, which can offset your expenses.

3. Can my co-parent be arrested for violating the custody order?

It's highly unlikely. Custody orders are civil matters, not criminal ones. Arrest is not a standard remedy. However, if a parent's actions also violate a criminal law (like kidnapping) or a criminal protective order, that is a separate issue that could lead to arrest. For civil contempt, jail is a tool of last resort used to coerce compliance, not to punish.

4. What if my child refuses to go for their scheduled parenting time?

This is a very difficult situation. Legally, you are required to comply with the court order, which means you must make the child available for the other parent's time. You should encourage the child to go and explore the reasons for their refusal. If the refusal is due to a legitimate fear of harm, you should contact an attorney or DCF immediately. If it's a matter of preference, you are still obligated to follow the order, but it may be a sign that the parenting plan needs to be re-evaluated through a Motion for Modification. The court can consider the "informed preferences of the child" (C.G.S. § 46b-56(c)) if the child is of a sufficient age and maturity.

5. What if the other parent takes our child out of Connecticut without permission?

The automatic orders in a divorce case (Practice Book § 25-5) prohibit either parent from permanently removing a child from the state without written agreement or a court order. If your final order has similar restrictions and they are violated, this is a serious matter. You should immediately file a Motion for Contempt and may need to seek an emergency order for the child's return.

6. How long does it take to get a court date for a contempt motion?

The timeline depends on the court's schedule. After you file your motion and have it served, the court will assign a hearing date. This can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. The new "Pathways" case management system is designed to move cases along more efficiently, but backlogs can still cause delays.

Getting Help from a Connecticut Family Lawyer

While you can file a Motion for Contempt on your own, enforcing a custody order involves navigating specific legal rules and presenting a persuasive case to a judge. An experienced Connecticut family law attorney can be an invaluable asset.

An attorney can help you:

Evaluate the strength of your case.
Gather and organize the necessary evidence.
Draft a precise and effective Motion for Contempt that meets all legal requirements.
Ensure the other parent is properly served.
Represent you in court and advocate effectively on your behalf.
Advise you on the best strategy to achieve your goals and protect your child.

Conclusion: Protecting Your Family's Stability

When you have to enforce a custody order in Connecticut, remember that the law is on your side. The courts provide clear procedures to hold non-compliant parents accountable and restore stability for your child. By understanding the process, documenting everything, and acting decisively, you can take meaningful steps to ensure your parenting plan is respected. You don't have to tolerate constant disruptions and broken promises. You have the right to seek enforcement and the peace of mind that comes with a predictable, stable routine for your child.