Can I get sole custody in Connecticut?

Yes, you can get sole custody in Connecticut, but it’s important to understand that it is not the most common outcome. Connecticut courts generally prefer joint custody, believing that it’s in a child’s best interest to have both parents actively involved in their life. However, the court’s single most important goal is to protect the child, and if you can prove that awarding you sole custody is what’s best for your child, a judge can and will grant it.

Navigating a custody dispute is one of the most emotionally challenging parts of any divorce or separation. You’re worried about your children’s well-being and future, and the legal process can feel overwhelming. This guide is here to walk you through what sole custody means in Connecticut, what the law requires, and what steps you can take to present your case to the court.

We will break down the legal standards, the court process, and the practical realities of seeking a sole custody arrangement. Remember, the focus is always on what is safest and most beneficial for your child, not on what might seem "fair" to the parents.

Understanding Sole Custody vs. Joint Custody

In Connecticut, "custody" is divided into two parts: legal custody and physical custody. It’s possible to have sole legal custody, sole physical custody, or both.

• Legal Custody: This refers to the right and responsibility to make major decisions for your child. These include decisions about healthcare, education, and religious upbringing.

  • Sole Legal Custody: One parent has the exclusive authority to make these major decisions.
  • Joint Legal Custody: Both parents must consult with each other and jointly make these decisions. This is the more common arrangement.

• Physical Custody: This refers to where the child lives on a day-to-day basis.

  • Sole Physical Custody: The child lives primarily with one parent, who is often called the "custodial parent." The other parent, or "non-custodial parent," typically has a schedule of parenting time (visitation).
  • Joint Physical Custody: The child splits their time living with both parents. This doesn't always mean a 50/50 split, but it involves a more shared residential schedule.

When people talk about getting sole custody Connecticut, they are usually referring to a combination of sole legal and sole physical custody. This gives one parent the primary responsibility for both the child's daily care and the major life decisions. Even in this scenario, the non-custodial parent almost always retains the right to parenting time and access to the child's records, unless the court finds it would be harmful to the child.

Connecticut Law: The "Best Interests of the Child" Standard

The entire foundation of any custody decision in Connecticut is the best interests of the child. This is not just a phrase; it is the legal standard that judges must use. According to Connecticut General Statutes (C.G.S.) § 46b-56(c), the court must consider all relevant factors to determine what arrangement will best serve a child's well-being.

While the law provides a long list of factors, a judge is not required to give equal weight to each one. Instead, they will look at the total picture of your family's situation. To be awarded sole custody, you must present evidence showing that a joint custody arrangement would be detrimental to your child, and that you are the parent best equipped to meet their needs.

The factors the court will consider include:

1. The child's physical and emotional safety. This is paramount.
2. The child's temperament and developmental needs.
3. The ability of each parent to understand and meet the child's needs.
4. The child's informed preferences, if the court finds the child is mature enough to express them.
5. The parents' wishes for custody.
6. The past and current relationship between the child and each parent, siblings, and anyone else who significantly affects their life.
7. Each parent's willingness to encourage a relationship between the child and the other parent.
8. Any attempts by one parent to manipulate or coerce the child to be involved in the parents' dispute.
9. The ability of each parent to be actively involved in the child's life.
10. The child's adjustment to their home, school, and community.
11. The stability of the child's current living situation and the importance of maintaining it.
12. The mental and physical health of the child and the parents.
13. The child's cultural background.
14. The effect of any domestic violence on the child.
15. Whether the child or a sibling has been abused or neglected.
16. Whether the parents have completed the mandatory parenting education program (C.G.S. § 46b-69b).

A judge will grant sole custody in Connecticut if the evidence related to these factors clearly shows that one parent is unable or unwilling to provide a safe, stable, and nurturing environment, or if one parent is incapable of co-parenting effectively.

Step-by-Step: How to Request Sole Custody in Connecticut

Requesting sole custody involves a formal legal process. While every case is unique, the general steps are as follows.

Step 1: Start the Legal Action

If you are married, you will begin by filing a Complaint for Dissolution of Marriage. If you are not married, you will file an Application for Custody/Visitation. This initial document, filed with the Superior Court, officially starts your case (C.G.S. § 46b-45, C.G.S. § 46b-61). In your complaint or application, you will state the relief you are seeking, which should include a request for sole custody.

Step 2: Automatic Court Orders

As soon as a divorce or custody case is filed and served, a set of Automatic Orders goes into effect for both parents (Practice Book § 25-5). These orders are designed to keep things stable while the case is pending. Critically, they prevent either parent from:

• Permanently removing the child from Connecticut without the other parent's agreement or a court order.
• Removing the child from existing health insurance plans.
• Selling or hiding assets.

Step 3: File a Proposed Parenting Plan

Connecticut courts require parents in a custody dispute to file a proposed parenting plan (C.G.S. § 46b-56a(d)). This is a detailed document where you outline your specific requests. If you are seeking sole custody, your plan should state that and explain how you will handle decision-making and the residential schedule. You must also propose a parenting time schedule for the other parent, assuming it is safe to do so.

Step 4: Gather and Present Your Evidence

This is the most critical part of your case. You cannot simply tell the judge you want sole custody; you must show them why it is in your child's best interest. Your evidence should directly relate to the legal factors listed above. This can include:

• Communication Records: Emails, text messages, and parenting app logs that show the other parent's inability to co-parent, harassment, or refusal to communicate about the children.
• School and Medical Records: Documents showing you are the parent who handles appointments, teacher conferences, and educational needs.
• Witnesses: Testimony from teachers, therapists, daycare providers, or family members who have firsthand knowledge of your parenting and the child's needs.
• Police Reports or DCF Records: If there are issues of domestic violence, substance abuse, or neglect, these official records are powerful evidence.
• Photos and Videos: Images that demonstrate a stable, happy home environment or, conversely, evidence of unsafe conditions with the other parent.

Step 5: Participate in Court-Ordered Services

During the case, a judge may order you and the other parent to participate in certain services designed to resolve the dispute or gather more information.

• Mediation: A neutral third party helps you and the other parent try to reach an agreement (C.G.S. § 46b-53a).
• Custody Evaluation: A mental health professional or a Family Relations Counselor from the court may be appointed to conduct a thorough evaluation. They will interview you, the other parent, the children, and others, and then write a detailed report with recommendations for the court (Practice Book § 25-61).
• Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) or Attorney for the Minor Child (AMC): If the conflict is high or there are serious allegations, the court may appoint a GAL or an AMC to represent the child's best interests (C.G.S. § 46b-54). This person will conduct an investigation and make recommendations to the judge.

Step 6: The Custody Trial

If you cannot reach an agreement, your case will go to a trial. At the trial, you and your attorney will present your evidence and witnesses to a judge. The other parent will have the same opportunity. After hearing all the evidence, the judge will issue a final ruling on custody based on the best interests of the child.

Important Considerations When Seeking Sole Custody

• When is Sole Custody Typically Granted? While there's no magic formula, Connecticut courts are more likely to grant sole custody in situations involving:

  • Proven domestic violence or child abuse.
  • A parent's severe and untreated substance abuse or mental health issue that endangers the child.
  • Abandonment or a long-term lack of involvement by one parent.
  • A complete inability of the parents to communicate or co-parent, where one parent is clearly the cause of the conflict.
  • Incarceration of one parent.

• Sole Custody Does Not Mean No Contact: It is very rare for a court to completely cut off a parent's contact with their child. Even if you are granted sole legal and physical custody, the other parent will almost certainly be awarded a schedule of parenting time (visitation), unless the court finds that any contact would be physically or emotionally harmful to the child.

• Emergency Custody Orders: If you believe your child is in immediate physical or psychological danger, you can file an application for an emergency ex parte order of custody (C.G.S. § 46b-56f). If a judge agrees the danger is real and immediate, they can grant you temporary sole custody right away and schedule a full hearing within 14 days.

Frequently Asked Questions about Sole Custody in Connecticut

Here are answers to some common questions about getting sole custody in CT.

1. What's the difference between sole legal and sole physical custody?

Sole legal custody gives one parent the power to make all major life decisions (school, health, religion). Sole physical custody means the child lives primarily with one parent. You can have one without the other. For example, a court might award joint legal custody (so both parents make decisions together) but sole physical custody to one parent.

2. If I have sole custody, does the other parent still have to pay child support?

Yes, absolutely. Both parents have a legal obligation to financially support their children according to their respective abilities (C.G.S. § 46b-84). A custody order is separate from a child support order. The non-custodial parent will almost always be ordered to pay child support based on the Connecticut Child Support Guidelines.

3. Can the other parent still see the kids if I get sole custody in Connecticut?

Yes, in nearly all cases. The court will create a parenting plan that includes a specific schedule of parenting time (visitation) for the non-custodial parent. This contact would only be denied or ordered to be supervised if there is clear evidence that unsupervised contact would endanger the child.

4. Can a sole custody order be changed later?

Yes. Any custody order can be modified if there has been a "substantial change in circumstances" since the last order was entered (C.G.S. § 46b-56). For example, if a parent with sole custody develops a substance abuse problem, the other parent could file a motion to modify custody.

5. Does Connecticut favor mothers over fathers for custody?

No. The law is explicitly gender-neutral. All decisions are based on the best interests of the child and the specific facts of the case, not the gender of the parent.

6. At what age can a child decide who to live with in Connecticut?

There is no specific age in Connecticut where a child gets to decide. However, the law requires the court to consider the "informed preferences of the child" (C.G.S. § 46b-56(c)(4)). The older and more mature the child, the more weight a judge is likely to give their opinion.

7. What is a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) and will one be appointed in my case?

A Guardian Ad Litem, or GAL, is a person (often an attorney or mental health professional) appointed by the court to investigate the family's situation and advocate for the child's best interests (C.G.S. § 46b-54). They do not represent either parent. A GAL is usually appointed in high-conflict cases or when there are serious allegations of abuse, neglect, or substance abuse.

Getting the Help You Need

Seeking sole custody is a serious legal step with long-lasting consequences for you and your children. Because the court's preference is for joint custody, the burden of proof on the parent seeking a sole custody arrangement is high.

It is strongly recommended that you work with an experienced Connecticut family law attorney. An attorney can help you understand your rights, gather the necessary evidence, and present the strongest possible case to the court. They can help you navigate the complex procedures and ensure your child's best interests are protected throughout the process.

Conclusion

Winning sole custody in Connecticut is challenging, but it is achievable in situations where it is truly necessary to protect a child's well-being. The court's decision will always come down to a careful, fact-based analysis of your child's best interests. Success depends on your ability to provide clear, compelling evidence that a sole custody arrangement is the only way to ensure your child has the safety, stability, and support they need to thrive. By understanding the law, preparing thoroughly, and seeking professional guidance, you can navigate this difficult process with confidence and focus on securing a positive future for your child.