Can I get divorced if my spouse is in the military in Connecticut?

Yes, you absolutely can get divorced in Connecticut if you or your spouse is in the military. While the emotional journey of ending a marriage is universal, a military divorce involves a unique set of rules and considerations that don't apply in civilian cases. The core process is governed by Connecticut state law, but federal laws designed to protect service members add important layers to the proceedings.

Navigating a divorce military spouse Connecticut case means understanding how state and federal regulations interact. This guide will walk you through the essential information, from establishing jurisdiction and serving papers to dividing military benefits and creating a workable parenting plan. We'll break down the complexities in a straightforward way to help you feel more prepared and in control during this challenging time.

Understanding the Basics of a Military Divorce in Connecticut

A military divorce isn't a separate type of legal action; it's a standard Connecticut divorce that involves a service member. The primary difference is the application of two key federal laws:

The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA): This federal law is designed to protect active-duty military personnel from being at a disadvantage in civil court cases, including divorce, because their service prevents them from responding or appearing in court. It can delay the divorce process but cannot stop it indefinitely.
The Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act (USFSPA): This act allows Connecticut courts to treat military retirement pay as marital property and divide it between the spouses in a divorce. It also provides a method for the non-military spouse to receive direct payments from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS) in certain situations.

While these federal laws are critical, it's important to remember that the fundamental decisions about your divorce—property division, alimony, and child custody—are made according to Connecticut state law.

Connecticut Law Requirements: Where Can You File?

Before a Connecticut court can hear your divorce case, it must have jurisdiction, which means it has the legal authority to make decisions for you and your spouse. This is primarily based on residency.

According to Connecticut law (C.G.S. § 46b-44), you can file for divorce here if you meet one of these residency requirements:

One of the spouses has been a resident of Connecticut for at least 12 months before filing the divorce complaint or before the final divorce decree is issued.
One of the spouses was living in Connecticut at the time of the marriage and returned to the state with the intention of staying permanently before filing for divorce.
The reason for the divorce (e.g., the "irretrievable breakdown" of the marriage) happened after either spouse moved to Connecticut.

For military families, Connecticut has a specific and helpful provision. C.G.S. § 46b-44(d) states that "any person who has served or is serving with the armed forces...and who was a resident of this state at the time of his or her entry shall be deemed to have continuously resided in this state" during their service.

This means if Connecticut was your or your spouse's legal home of record upon enlisting, you can likely file for divorce here, even if you've been stationed elsewhere for years.

The Step-by-Step Process for a Military Divorce in Connecticut

While every case is unique, the general steps for a divorce involving a military spouse in Connecticut follow a clear path.

Step 1: Filing the Divorce Complaint

The process begins when one spouse (the "filing spouse") files a Complaint for Dissolution of Marriage with the Superior Court. This document officially starts the divorce process and outlines what you are asking the court for. In Connecticut, most divorces are filed on the "no-fault" ground that the marriage has "broken down irretrievably" (C.G.S. § 46b-40(c)(1)), meaning there's no reasonable hope of reconciliation.

Step 2: Serving the Divorce Papers

After filing, you must legally notify your spouse (the "responding spouse") by "serving" them with the divorce papers. This is where a military divorce can get tricky.

Waiver of Service: The easiest method is if the service member agrees to the divorce and signs a Waiver of Service form. This avoids the complexities of formal service, especially if they are deployed.
Formal Service: If your spouse won't sign a waiver, you must have the papers formally served. Serving a service member on a military base or overseas requires following specific protocols. You may need to coordinate with a state marshal or a process server who understands the rules of the specific military installation.

Step 3: The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) and Delays

This is one of the most significant aspects of a divorce with a military spouse in Connecticut. If the service member is on active duty and cannot participate in the divorce proceedings because of their military responsibilities, they can request a "stay," or a pause, in the case.

Under the SCRA, a service member can get an initial, automatic stay of at least 90 days by notifying the court that their military duties materially affect their ability to respond. The court can grant further delays if their service continues to prevent them from participating. It's crucial to understand that the SCRA is meant to ensure a fair process; it is not a tool to avoid the divorce forever.

Step 4: Financial Disclosures and Discovery

Just like in a civilian divorce, both parties must provide a complete picture of their finances. This involves filing a sworn financial statement with the court (Practice Book § 25-30). For military families, this includes detailing all sources of income, such as base pay, Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS), and any special or incentive pays. You will also list all assets, including military retirement benefits.

Step 5: Reaching an Agreement or Going to Trial

Ideally, you and your spouse can negotiate a settlement agreement that covers all issues: property division, alimony, and a parenting plan for your children. This is known as an uncontested divorce. If you can't agree, your case is considered contested, and a judge will have to decide these issues at a trial. Mediation (C.G.S. § 46b-53a) is often a very effective tool for military couples to resolve disputes outside of court.

Step 6: The Final Divorce Decree

Once all issues are resolved, either by agreement or by a judge's decision, the court will issue a final Decree of Dissolution of Marriage. This legal document officially ends your marriage and outlines all the final orders.

Important Considerations for a Divorce Military Spouse Connecticut Case

Divorcing a service member involves unique assets and challenges that require careful attention.

Division of Military Retirement Pay

The Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act (USFSPA) gives Connecticut courts the authority to treat disposable military retired pay as marital property. Under Connecticut's equitable distribution law (C.G.S. § 46b-81), the court will divide all marital property, including the pension, in a way it deems fair—which is not always a 50/50 split. The court considers factors like the length of the marriage, the causes of the divorce, and each spouse's income, assets, and needs.

A common point of confusion is the "10/10 Rule." This rule states that for a former spouse to receive their share of the pension directly from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS), the couple must have been married for at least 10 years that overlap with 10 years of the member's creditable military service. This is not a rule about eligibility. You can still be awarded a portion of the pension even if you don't meet the 10/10 rule; your ex-spouse would just be responsible for paying you directly.

Child Custody and Parenting Plans

When children are involved, Connecticut's guiding principle is the "best interests of the child" (C.G.S. § 46b-56). For military families, creating a parenting plan requires extra foresight to account for deployments, relocations, and unpredictable schedules.

Connecticut has a specific law to address this. C.G.S. § 46b-56e provides protections for deploying parents. Key provisions include:

A court cannot enter a final order modifying custody while a parent is deployed and for 90 days after their return, unless the deploying parent agrees.
The court can issue temporary orders to adjust the parenting plan during the deployment.
The non-deploying parent must facilitate contact (phone, video calls) between the child and the deployed parent.
A parent's deployment cannot be the sole factor used to justify a permanent change in custody upon their return.

Child Support

Child support is calculated using the Connecticut Child Support Guidelines. The calculation is based on the parents' combined net income. For a service member, "income" includes their full range of pay and allowances, not just their base pay. This means BAH, BAS, and other entitlements are typically included when determining the support obligation.

Health Insurance and Other Benefits (TRICARE)

A non-military spouse's eligibility for TRICARE and other military benefits after a divorce depends on the "20/20/20 Rule." To retain these benefits, you must show:

You were married to the service member for at least 20 years.
The service member has at least 20 years of creditable military service.
There is at least a 20-year overlap between the marriage and the military service.

If you don't meet this rule, you may be eligible for temporary continued coverage through the Continued Health Care Benefit Program (CHCBP), which you must purchase.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

How long does a divorce with a military spouse in Connecticut take?

The timeline varies greatly. An uncontested divorce where the service member waives their SCRA rights can be resolved in a few months. However, if the service member invokes their SCRA rights to delay the case due to deployment, the process can be extended significantly. Contested cases naturally take longer than uncontested ones.

Can my spouse use the SCRA to avoid the divorce forever?

No. The SCRA is intended to postpone proceedings, not prevent them. A service member must demonstrate to the court that their military duties have a "material effect" on their ability to participate. A judge can deny further requests for a stay if it appears the service member is simply trying to stall without a valid, service-related reason.

Is my spouse's military pension considered marital property in Connecticut?

Yes. Under Connecticut law (C.G.S. § 46b-81), the portion of the military pension earned during the marriage is considered marital property and is subject to equitable distribution by the court.

What happens to our parenting plan if my ex-spouse gets deployed?

Connecticut law (C.G.S. § 46b-56e) allows the court to issue temporary orders modifying the parenting plan to accommodate the deployment. These orders are not permanent, and the law includes protections to ensure the deploying parent's rights are preserved upon their return.

How is child support calculated for a service member in CT?

Child support is calculated using the Connecticut Child Support Guidelines, which are based on the parents' combined net weekly income. For a service member, this income includes base pay, BAH, BAS, and most other allowances, ensuring the calculation reflects their true earning capacity.

Do I automatically get half of my spouse's military retirement pay?

No. Connecticut is an "equitable distribution" state, not a community property state. The court will divide marital assets, including the pension, in a manner it finds fair and equitable, which may or may not be 50%.

What is the "10/10 Rule" and does it apply to my case?

The 10/10 Rule is a payment mechanism, not an entitlement rule. If your marriage lasted at least 10 years during 10 years of your spouse's military service, DFAS can pay your share of the pension directly to you. If you don't meet this rule, the court can still award you a share, but your ex-spouse will be responsible for making the payments.

Can I keep my military ID and TRICARE benefits after the divorce?

You can only keep these benefits for life if you meet the strict 20/20/20 Rule (20 years of marriage, 20 years of service, 20-year overlap). Otherwise, your benefits will end upon the finalization of the divorce, though you may be eligible to purchase temporary transitional health coverage.

Getting Help

Navigating a divorce is tough, and when military service is involved, the complexity increases. It is highly recommended that you consult with a Connecticut divorce attorney who has specific experience handling cases involving military personnel. They will understand the interplay between state and federal law and can help protect your rights regarding pensions, benefits, and parenting issues.

Military legal assistance offices (JAG) can be a valuable resource for information, but they cannot represent you or your spouse in a Connecticut court. Their role is to provide legal advice, and they cannot represent two opposing parties.

Conclusion

Getting a divorce when your spouse is in the military is entirely possible in Connecticut. The key is to be prepared for the unique procedures and rules that apply. By understanding Connecticut's residency requirements, the protections of the SCRA, and the specific laws governing the division of military benefits and parenting, you can approach the process with greater confidence. Remember to build a strong support system and seek guidance from legal professionals who specialize in this unique area of family law.